In the wake of Manny's suspension, I'd like to throw something out there. Please hear me out. I think this could be the best thing for us; I really do. We've had a good run together, but we've hit some hard times. Our relationship is important and I think to save it, our best hope is to take "a break."
What do I propose? Next season, let's encourage players to do whatever they want to their bodies. If you want to drink human growth hormone shakes at every meal, be our guest. If you want to shoot heroin into your penis before each game (Cal Ripken, Jr., I'm looking in your direction), go ahead. If you want to cut off your left arm and sew it on the end of your right arm, that sounds great (leverage!).
At the end of the season, we can decide (through some sort of national poll) whether baseball turned out to be better or worse.
1 comment:
The game changer is clearly gonna be leg-arm transplants for pitchers. Tommy John surgery? Pfah!
Post a Comment