Wally Szczerbiak I Salute You

LeBron has been so good lately that he has to score from half court or do a 720 jam for me to even raise an eyebrow. That is why, for the remaining minutes of this game 6 between the Cavs and the Magic, I am turning my attention to Wally.

Wally just did something truly amazing. No, it wasn't the wide-open air ball that he launched up. That was pretty terrible. It was what he did next. With the crowd laughing in his face and Orlando players heckling him, he stepped up and swished the exact same shot.

When you are a pretty-boy roll player -- when you are the Anna Kournikova of the NBA -- to release that shot takes balls.

You Must Always Turn the Dial to 11

There is a rule in the English Premier League that forces a manager to play his strongest team for every game.

Sir Alex Ferguson thinks that it is outdated and, given Manchester United's Champions League Final with Barcelona on Wednesday, he plans to disregard it tomorrow in his team's match up against lowly Hull City.

At first blush, the regulation seems pretty ridiculous (and, well, downright un-American), but I actually think it has some appeal. Why should some teams have to play the best team at their best and some teams get to play the best team at their worst simply based on the arbitrariness of the official schedule?

What About the Losers?

Dear President Obama,

I'm a mediocre player on a mediocre team. Please invite me to the White House.

Your pal,

James Harrison

. . . .

Okay, so, actually, Harrison is a pretty good player on a very good team. However, I think I've pretty much summed up his feelings.

As SI reports,

Last week, Harrison told Pittsburgh's WTAE television station he won't accompany his teammates on their Thursday visit to the White House to meet President Barack Obama. "This is how I feel -- if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don't win the Super Bowl," Harrison said. "As far as I'm concerned, [Obama] would've invited Arizona if they had won."

In related news, Harrison demanded that the NFL stop handing out Super Bowl rings only to teams that actually win the Super Bowl.

Reggie Miller, Exit Stage Left

During the NBA Playoffs, it has become clear to me that America needs to get an injunction barring Reggie Miller from acting. Seriously, those "Reggie's mailbag" ads are killing me.

How can great basketball players (and vaguely competent announcers) be such horrendous actors?

I, hereby, propose a list of current and former NBA players. I'll get things going:

Allowed to Act

1. Kareem Abdul Jabbar (Airplane)
2. Ray Allen (He Got Game)
3. Dwight Howard (T-Mobile commercial -- for some reason, the scream he makes when his videogame character pulls his hamstring really does me in)

Barred from Acting

1. Michael Jordan (Haynes commercials)
2. Shaq (Kazaam)
3. Reggie Miller

"I think we should take a break"

In the wake of Manny's suspension, I'd like to throw something out there. Please hear me out. I think this could be the best thing for us; I really do. We've had a good run together, but we've hit some hard times. Our relationship is important and I think to save it, our best hope is to take "a break."

What do I propose? Next season, let's encourage players to do whatever they want to their bodies. If you want to drink human growth hormone shakes at every meal, be our guest. If you want to shoot heroin into your penis before each game (Cal Ripken, Jr., I'm looking in your direction), go ahead. If you want to cut off your left arm and sew it on the end of your right arm, that sounds great (leverage!).

At the end of the season, we can decide (through some sort of national poll) whether baseball turned out to be better or worse.

The Merits of Giving Up: Celtics v. Magic

8:30 left in the third quarter of Game 1. Your team is down by 28 points. You just finished a seven game series, with four overtime games. Do you concede, pull your starters, and rest the team for Game 2?

I’d say yes.

Down by 28, could the Celtics have won this game?

Maybe, but you use up a whole lot of energy on something which is extremely, extremely unlikely.

If you pull the starters, you write off the game and come out rested, with a clean slate, in Game 2. Losing by 5 is still losing and getting oh-so-close is emotionally draining.

A lot of people would say fighting back improves Boston’s chances for Game 2; I’d say it hurts them.

Of course, as my high school basketball coach would tell you, I'm a quitter.