From Hendrik Hertzberg's blog:
"I love baseball, but I’m not an anyone fan. As a kid I loved the Brooklyn Dodgers. . . When Walter O’Malley betrayed Brooklyn and all that is good and holy it was my greatest childhood trauma. . . Since then I have had intimacy issues with baseball teams. I allowed myself to like the Red Sox when I lived in Boston and in theory I like the Cubs."
Excuse me? "[N]ot an anyone fan"? What does that even mean? "[I]ntimacy issues"? THERE ARE NO "INTIMACY ISSUES" IN BASEBALL. There's being a baseball fan and having a team, or not being a baseball fan and not having a team. Plausibly, once you have a team, you can "in theory" like a team from the opposite league, particularly if you happen to live in the city they play in. Short of that, however, to say that you "love baseball" but you're "not an anyone fan" is like saying that you "are exclusively heterosexual" but you "do have sex with men."
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An Intimacy Issue in Baseball
Haywood Sullivan, backup catcher (and later GM) for the Red Sox, couldn't get to first base no matter how much he wanted to.
(Over his seven-year career he hit .226 with 13 homeruns).
snap
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