While I applaud Dork 1 for ceasing to hide behind the cloak of anonymity provided by the Internets and finally including a picture of herself (quite a fetching broach, by the way), I must contest the characterization of a Euro 2008 semifinal match as a “non-major” sporting event. In fact, Euro 2008 is the third largest sporting event in the world (after the World Cup and Summer Olympic Games). The truth is that a lot of people like soccer: the 2006 World Cup in Germany had a total cumulative television audience of 26.29 billion, with 715.1 million viewers tuning in to watch the final between Italy and France. Dork 1, I know it would require rescheduling your midday handball game, but my soccer brethren and I extend an invitation to you to join with us to watch the Euro 2008 final tomorrow (it should be a cracker). I don’t want to force your hand, but I might remind you that isolationist policies with respect to events in Europe led directly to Hitler’s rise.
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